Not like the movies

My Clinical Instructor once said," you have to move on from your mistakes and whatever that has happened."

I still can't believe he's gone. His cold, stiff body appears in front of me every now and then. I can't help but feel that I could've done something that could've saved him.

Push

Suddenly broke down at the mrt station on the way to work yesterday hahahaha bodoh -.-

Gloomy Sunday

I finished ironing my uniform for the whole week and decided to repack my closet. Then the last stack on the bed was the unworn clothes that I brought to and from Perth. The last piece was my grey cardigan. It was still a little chilly and I don't know why, my first reaction was to smell it. And it did still smell of Perth, my sister's bedroom, adding with a little scent of the cold spring breeze.. I wanna hug it and cry myself to sleep but I know I shouldn't. :'(

When will I ever get out of this depression? I feel like such a loser. It's exhausting faking a smile everyday when I feel so empty every single day.

Ebee

It's an exhausting routine trying to smile and laugh. I love my current life.

TGIF

It's fridaaaay! Yep, that pretty much explains how little I'm enjoying my attachment. Hahaha, but actually it's alright, as in not THAT bad laa. Day one was pretty horrid but as we familiarize with the surrounding and staffs, it's pretty cool. And again, I'm lucky! :D

There's a staff damn nice to me, telling me to just go to her as she'll help me sign my logbook; just like SN Hafiza back in Malaysia :)

Honestly, I really miss working in KPJ, MINUS the hostel and ridiculous CIs. I don't know, Malaysians are generally very nice people I guess? I really miss people from my home. The patients are nice and sometimes rather quirky. Hahaha. Here like they have this whole "SERVE me as I've paid you to" seriously whadafa? -.- oh, and I actually got the geriatrics cubicle HEHEHE it's like early training for me :D it's pretty challenging and I do admit it somehow got me wondering "am I really interested in gerontology?" because I JUST realized it can be a pretty 'slow' job. And I was really excited when today, finally! there were blood and running up and down-s. Aweeesomeeee! But then, yeah, I still do enjoy and have a lot of passion in nursing the geriatrics. It's really really really something different. (:

And the doctors are quite young and good looking and imagine my cubicle is facing their desks! HAHAHA *wiggles* but don't worry, I'm not greedy, just aim two to motivate myself to go for attachment only. Hahahaha

My whole routine in the house includes Tom N Jerry HEHEHE once bangun, on Tom N Jerry while packing my bag, pause to bathe, then sambung while drying my hair, then pause to prepare breakfast, continue while changing, pause to wash my cup then have the last episode before putting my computer on 'sleep' mode and off to the hospital! Hahahaha

I miss my family, especially my sister :0

Butterfly

Yoga is very relaxing but it still makes you sweat like a pig. Kaching! :D

12:34

Lunch break now. A very very good thing happened this morning: I found my passion to nurse again! Really looking forward to officially start my practicals tomorrow :D and I'm thinking of spending my weekends in St Luke's for extra experience.

And got our results today. Grades are good to me but the gpa didn't really reach my expectation but it's okay, I know how I studied for the exams so okay laa, can't say much, satisfied though (:

But I'm really really happy and excited for my group mates! We all passed! :DD