I often feel so sad, not about anything else, but towards myself. I love and hate who I have become of. Are you able to comprehend, which majority will say "yes I do" without really trying to digest these words of mine.
Yes, I am a changed person. Ahh the wonders of shitty situations in life. So it is indeed true when they say "what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger." Oh well, here I am, too fucking strong that my emotions no longer comprehend disappointment. This, shall be the flat affect.
Sometimes I believe that I'm so detached with the inner, softer side of me that so much so, it became a place that I never dare to explore ever again. The intense fear. It does drive me crazy.
I inhale the bad, and exhale the good. I can't help it. It's my self defense mechanism, to only see the worst in everyone, every situation. Good that now I'm able to not give a f when things turn sour but I'm feeling pretty robotic for the past months, which I'm pretty sure in some ways, that this is unhealthy.
[ just know that it was you all along who had a hold of my heart but the demon and me were the best of friends from the start ]
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