Smirking was never this easy

What you wrote to me;

clearly shows that you don't know me at all.

And that'll be a part of me that you're never gonna find out.

;)

RevolT

What's the deal with my brain?
Why am I so obviously insane?
In a perfect situation
I lead love down the drain.
There's the pitch, slow and straight.
All I have to do is swing
and I'm a hero, but I'm a zero.

Hungry nights, once again
Now it's getting unbelievable.
'Cause I could not have it better,
But I just can't get no play
From the girls, all around
As they search the night for someone to hold onto.
And just pass through...

singing...
ooooooh oh. Ooohhhhh oh. oh Ooohhh oohh.
Singing...
ooooooh oh. Ooohhhhh oh. oh Ooohhh oohh.

Get your hands off the girl,
Can't you see that she belongs to me?
And I don't appreciate this excess company.
Though I can't satisfy all the needs she has
And so she starts to wander...
Can you blame her?

singing...
oooooooh oh. Ooohhhhh oh. oh Ooohhh oohh.
Singing...
oooooooh oh. Ooohhhhh oh. oh Ooohhh oohh.

Tell me there's a logic out there.
Leading me to better prepare
For the day that something really special might come.
Tell me there's some hope for me.
I don't wanna be lonely
For the rest of my days on the earth.

oooooooh oh. Ooohhhhh oh. oh Ooohhhhhhhhhh.
Singing...
oooooooh oh. Ooohhhhh oh. oh Ooohhh Oohh.
Singing...
oooooohoooooooo oowoahhooooooooooooooooo
oooooohoooooooo oowoahoooooooooooooooooo 

Like a boy

I want abs.

and good tacos.

I'm going for it.

Meet the one who inspires me most.

Jillian Michaels.

:)

I'd stand up and punch them out

Thursday RevolT briefing. Friday parents coming up. Saturday TIME FREEZEEEE! Sunday buy iPhone. Monday go for The Cranberries concert. 5th-7th volunteer at SCAPE Playspace. EXAMS. 1st-11th September: PERTH! *wiggles* Three weeks attachment. And another week of holidays. And again, I can't wait for December HEHEHE.

Rolling in the deep

I really can't wait for December all of a sudden.

There'll be my birthday

:p

There's Christmas

:D

And the Decembers before these had been great to me!

(",)

Excuses

Supposed to stop facebook for a week.

But have to be active back again in less than a day because I need to spread the RevolT event.

HAHAHAHA

ALASAAAAAAN.

I raf muh fahmeeree

Had Family Day today.

ManMang, Emily, Me.

HAHAHA. 

Went shopping at the Atrium.

-________-

Hello Monday

Lecture was great, I had tonnes of fun with ManMang.

During group meeting, Ifran said to me:

"Kat. You're getting weirder and weirder day by day. I swear."

And I heard he said I'm getting fatter.

HAHAHA.

Kickboxing was okay. We learnt and practiced our Breakfall.

We skipped the first two standing position though.

Squat, and breakfall!

I did bad, then okay, then breakneck.

HAHAHA

It wasn't painful, but it was very funny.

I think it triggered my laughing nerves and all I did was laugh.

But now my whole neck feels so heavy.

I'm pretty much expecting for a stiff neck like my mum by tomorrow.

HAHAHAHAHA

Watch out for the Mushroom Robot!

-__________-

Eh dude, if you think I was noticing every movement of yours during training, you're thinking too highly of yourself.

AND.

If you wanna make fun of me because you claim that I was laughing at you, you've just got to prove something to me.

NOW you're noticed.

(: 

Strobehree. Bloobehree. Krenbehree.

The Cranberries.

Front row.

01.08.2011

8pm.

Singapore Indoor Stadium.

EH HEH HEH HEH HEH

:p

Sunday morning; rain is falling

I still can't believe Amy Winehouse died. Hahaha, and just an hour before I read the notice, I just posted "You Know I'm No Good" on my facebook wall which was originally sung by her.

I went to church again today. Only my third time and all three times straight, something always happen. First time, the bus just refuse to show up. Second time, I woke up late. And today, the bus broke down a few stops before reaching my destination. And cool, I made it somehow.

I pray for strength to conquer the other part of me; guidance to choose the right path and not get astray; my willingness to open and empty myself and let God make use of me in whatever ways He wants to; patience for every rush decision I'm about to make and again strength for me to keep fighting the worst side of myself, every time I'm in church. I'm genuinely praying for these but some part, I feel like I'm not.

It was only yesterday that I decided to rebuild all my walls and not let anyone enter; maybe including God Himself; and this morning I had a different view, like whaaaaaaaa o.- How do I choose between self defense and I don't know? Hahahaha

We'll see how it goes.

It's seven in the morning

I'm off for a run.

(^_____________^)V

^

HAHAHAHAHA

The current stupid geli emoticon I use all the time to annoy my classmates.

Pledge to self

I will be happy and hyper every single day no matter what happens.

Shit happens, all the time;

but I'm still gonna embrace them.

:D

Come away with me

I suddenly feel so proud to be a Kick-boxer.

:p

I want to train hard and not slack.

Endurance. Passion.

It's all about the mind game.

My conversation has run dry

First of all, I'm through with my Nursing and Bioscience practical paper! WOOOO. Hahaha. Feeling a little feverish and drowsy, and it's making me miss home. Flashback time. Hahaha. I was the only child at home starting from Sec2 and because of my really horrible temper back then, I hardly talked to my parents until I graduated from high school, and we hardly see each other everyday. My sister used to say that I could just stay in my room my whole life. Hahaha. My attendance through out my whole high school years were really bad. We had this way of calculating our absenteeism and bringing them forward to every month; my classmates would check and compare to see who can hit the highest one. The highest one among them was 4days in one month and mine was already 8-10days. HAHAHA. I hated science and Tuesday was a full day Science subject so confirm, every Tuesday I'm absent and for the other days, I'll come to school, wait until 8.30am, and you will see all kinds of 'sicknesses' start kicking in HAHAHA Annually, my attendance is just slightly more than half of the overall schooling days.

And one day, after my dad picked me up from school, he suddenly said: "Don't think I don't know what you're up to. You'll definitely miss Tuesdays and you come up with tonnes of excuses every Monday and Thursday. Just because I'm keeping quiet doesn't mean I don't know anything!" And everyone who met my dad, knows that he's a no nonsense man with an extremely scary face. HAHAHA. But at times, when I'm really sick, he'll know it, even when we don't talk to each other, he'll suddenly come into my room and place his palm onto my forehead. I swear to you, every single time he does that, I will cry! HAHAHAHAHA. I don't know laaa, I just feel safe and collected whenever he does that. :') That's why every time I'm sick and away I'll cry like shit missing my dad! T_____T

I still remember the very first time we started talking. It was awkward. Hahaha. I was leaving for college soon last year, we were  in the kitchen; he was cutting some fruits and I was making a drink. He suddenly: "Umm.. Uhh.. Learn how to take good care of yourself okay?" and I stunned and replied: "Huhh..? Ohhh.. Oh okay.." and slowly we talked and joked more until today HEHE. :D

And recently, he's trying his best to learn how to facebook to message with my sister and me. Hahaha :D Now, he's bugging my brother to teach him how to skype. Hahaha I'm really glad that even we're so close now, he never felt like my best friend or what, he'll always make me take him as a really great and cool dad!

My dad lost so much weight by now.

But when he doesn't smile, he still looks too serious.

But it's okay,

I still love my Homer.

:)

You're a stunner

Paperweight

Joshua Radin. Schuyler Fisk.

Been up all night staring at you
Wondering what's on your mind
I've been this way with so many before but this feels like the first time

You want the sunrise to go back to bed
I want to make you laugh

Mess up my bed with me
Kick off the covers
I'm waiting
Every word you say I think I should write down
Don't want to forget come daylight

Happy to lay here
Just happy to be here
I'm happy to know you
Play me a song
Your newest one
Please leave your taste on my tongue

Paperweight on my back
Cover me like a blanket

Mess up my bed with me
Kick off the covers
I'm waiting
Every word you say I think I should write down
Don't want to forget come daylight

And no need to worry
That's wasting time
And no need to wonder what's been on my mind
It's you
It's you
It's you

Every word you say I think I should write down
Don't want to forget come daylight

And I give up
I let you win
You win 'cause I'm not counting

You made it back to sleep again
Wonder what you're dreaming

_________________________________________

This song was on repeat during my journey to college this morning.

The lyrics is so romantic; not the cheesy kind.

Ahh, the lyrics says it all. 

:D

Oh, and try his version of "Only You"

His voice is too good; too dreamy.

Hahaha

:D

HEHEHEHE

Guess who has this now?

HEHEHE.

Can't wait to get to Perth this September.

*,*

Once I reached home, I opened my yahoomail and received one of the best emails and it instantly made me went

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

*wiggles at high speed*

Immature prick

your words and assurance are up to no use.

you're still the hypocrite.

the same old dip shit.

stop criticising others.

it's time for you to look into the mirror and tell yourself to grow up, and actually start saying things that actually meant something.

Darkest skeleton in closet

Must you keep switching now?
Seriously?
-.-

Smells like rain

It was suddenly announced that I have my Nursing theory examination tomorrow at 4pm.

GAAAAAAHH.

I did something stupid today.

I'm aware of the risk I'm taking but I did nothing to stop myself.

Endurance

I felt numb and for the first time my face was flushing pale red, but I didn't want to stop running. It's the only way for me to forget about everything, when I force myself to just concentrate in my breathing. I did black out for split seconds couple of times but I just kept running. I should've known that after all the sweats and runs, my useless problems are still there, and if I'm unlucky, who knows what might happen, was it even worth it? And worst, I don't even know what the exact problem is. A little of everything coming at once, makes me an immature whining underage kid. THIS WEEK HAS GOT TO BE WAY BETTER THAN THIS! You've got to be kidding me, where's your optimism? Get it back, no matter what, asap. 

Since yesterday morning

I don't want this moment to ever end
Where everythings nothing without you
I'll wait here forever just to, to see you smile
'Cause it's true, I am nothing without you

Through it all, I made my mistakes
I stumble and fall, but I mean these words

I want you to know
With everything I won't let this go, these words are my heart and soul
I'll hold on to this moment you know, 'cause I'd bleed my heart out to show
And I won't let go

Thoughts read unspoken, forever in doubt
Pieces of memories fall to the ground
I know what I didn't have so, I won't let this go
'Cause it's true, I am nothing without you

All the streets where I walked alone, with nowhere to go
I've come to an end

I want you to know
With everything I won't let this go, these words are my heart and soul
I'll hold on to this moment you know, 'cause I'd bleed my heart out to show
And I won't let go

In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies
When you don't know what you're looking to find
In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies
When you just never know what you will find (what you will find)

I don't want this moment to ever end
Where everythings nothing without you

I want you to know
With everything I won't let this go, these words are my heart and soul
I'll hold on to this moment you know, 'cause I'd bleed my heart out to show
And I won't let go (I want you to know)
With everything I won't let this go, these words are my heart and soul
I'll hold on to this moment you know, 'cause I'd bleed my heart out to show
And I won't let go 

Jumlah Empat Satu

I tried to be perfect
But nothing was worth it
I don’t believe it makes me real
I thought it’d be easy
But no one believes me
I meant all the things I said

If you believe it’s in my soul
I’d say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I’m trying to let you know
That I’m better off on my own

This place is so empty
My thoughts are so tempting
I don’t know how it got so bad
Sometimes it’s so crazy
That nothing can save me
But it’s the only thing that I have

If you believe it’s in my soul
I’d say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I’m trying to let you know
That I’m better off on my own

On my own

I tried to be perfect
It just wasn’t worth it
Nothing could ever be so wrong
It’s hard to believe me
It never gets easy
I guess I knew that all along

If you believe it’s in my soul
I’d say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I’m trying to let you know
That I’m better off on my own

I don't know why I feel so sad every time I listen to this. HAHAHA

She's so high above me

I kept eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating and eating.

My friend looked at me in the lift and suddenly started grabbing my cheeks and said: tembaaaaaaaaaaaammm!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

:p

Woke up early for East Coast Park today. Got stuck at the bus stop opposite Laguna Park and I asked this guy for directions. He called his friend ahead of him and asked how to get there. His friend, obviously did not see me behind, answered: "East Coast Park ada di sanaa! Loh mau pergi sana ngapa sih? Gataaal?!" HAHAHAHAHA! I love how Indonesians speak like a bullet!

The weather was good. Too good, that we did not even sweat a bit! And today we broke our own record. We cycled from East Coast Park to Changi Beach Park and back in one and a half hour's time. WOOOOO. Hahahaha and then back to the top. We makan and makan and makan and makan and makan and makan.

Went to get my hair cut and Steph's treatment done. Guess who looks like a pig with Cleopatra's hair now? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH NGOM! 

Mm hmm

The weather is making my face flush and it's expandingggggg.

KOOL.

Judaaaas

Will be extremely casual to maximise the comfortability because classes ends at six! 

HAHAHAHA

Bart makes me happy

Next week onwards will be the beginning of all ICAs. Slacked too much, need to kick my own butt real hard now! Hahaha. I can feel the aura of stress and tension coming in.

And this is how I feel when I'm over stressed.

HAHAHA

-.-

Sign the tuition grant tomorrow. Apply for the bank loan and start putting aside some money to pay for my college fees. I feel gahhh and bad when mum told me "It's not that I don't wanna pay for your fees, but I've really got no money here." 

WOOOOO.

Responsibility kicks in.

-.-

This was the main reason I was feeling so tensed since last weekend.

Eh no. This was the only reason.

But okay la.

Secretly, I have only one request.

Please don't ask me about my allowance, how I spend it and how am I going to divide it and when am I going to start giving back.

But crazy la, I'm gonna sound like Si Tenggang.

But the questions gives me so much faojdsfoa.

Heeeee.

-.-

Now I just want to concentrate on my exams.

And.

I bought myself a trip to Perth this September.

I'm THIS happy.

(*,*)

Sooooooooo.

Get a results that's better than before and enjoy my vacation.

I'm actually aiming for a 3.5

Boleh ah?

Boleh laaaa.

HAHAHA

bye.

LTK-1

Yesterday's training was kickass! There was a part where the one in front of me suddenly slowed down so, so did I. And can you imagine everyone running, and as a girl, you make a jerking stop and behind you is a guy? Damn gaaaaahh but just buat bodoh, didn't realise anything. HAHAHA -.-

Practical test at 1pm. Aiyaakeramba.

Ïcon

Only feeling sleepy at six in the morning.

One of the nice moments

I remember my first young patient, Iskandar!

When I'm off duty, he'll ask my colleagues

"Akak.. Akak Cina tu mane..?"

Then when I come, he acts cool and doesn't look at me.

When kacau-ed "Eh, asal tak tegur. Semalam bukan main tanya lagi."

And his cute little face blushes while he screams. 

HAHAHA

JadaL

My friends don't get why the religion of Islam fascinates me so much. 

Hahaha, it's just something beautiful and it's a waste how some penganuts don't treasure it.

Sembahyang. 

How can you say it's something troublesome and malas?

Aiyahkeramba.

Stick

I don't need to find a guy who loves me since the day I was born; one who offers to carry all my extra heavy luggage and sling bag; one who believes in every single thing I do; one who never doubts my choices in life; one who can be my perfect role model; one who kicks me hard in my butt when I'm getting off track and all the 'manly' deeds every girl wants in a guy. I already have him long ago. The only one who will do all these even without me asking: My Dad. :)

This weekend is hectic, but I guess, one day, maybe not so soon (hahaha), I'll look at today and be glad I had to go through this to sharpen up my life skills. HAHAHA.

"Do what you think it's right. If it doesn't work out, let's just say, you've got to learn it in a hard way."

-Dad-

There's always good moments

My mum and I were racing down the steps from the 11th floor, and finding we were still ahead of my dad and grand uncle, we kept jumping and gave each high tens! HAHAHA :)

Question of the day

Just when your parents joke at the worst time

Beta ingin bersantai di mana-mana pantai berhampiran. Alasan? Beta mahu golek sepuas-puasnya sampai muncul muka retard. -_____________________________________-

The Morning Song

 So, so you think you can tell

Heaven from Hell,

Blue skies from pain.

Can you tell a green field

From a cold steel rail?

A smile from a veil?

Do you think you can tell?

Did they get you to trade

Your heroes for ghosts?

Hot ashes for trees?

Hot air for a cool breeze?

And cold comfort for change?

Did you exchange

A walk on part in the war,

For a lead role in a cage?

How I wish, how I wish you were here.

We're just two lost souls

Swimming in a fish bowl, 

Year after year,

Running over the same old ground.

What have we found

The same old fears.

Wish you were here.

I'm here as your listener, but not to your repetitive drama lines

I understand the need to complain. But not repeating the whole damn freaking day lah doooooi!

It's okay, you're still a 16-year-old.

Be patient and understanding.

Hahahaha

-.-

Language

When I'm furious,

in my head,

I curse non stop in BM.

O_____________O

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

My Pick-Yourself-Up Song

This week has been an Indon week!

Hahahaha

Milk did not make Katrina taller, but definitely happier!

The weather's really nice today. :) My hair isn't that long, but long enough to make myself look messy but I decided to not tie or clip my fringe and just let them have fun with the wind. HAHAHA what kinda description is that? :p I just felt like a girl today LOOOOOOOOOL :p

What was needed to be let go, I've actually done it without myself realising it, so it's pretty nice to lift up whatever burden that was on me. :) A little one was added though: college fees. Aiyaaa. But it's alright, I know this will be settled soon. :) God had been guiding me through all the hardships of coming over here to study, laid everything I prayed for in front of me, so I still have the strong faith that He'll guide me through this 'task'. :D

I was strayed for quite some time already, so little kiddo, it's time to get back on the right track. :)

:D

Our Lady Peace; We are all i.n.n.o.c.e.n.t

I laugh a lot. I jump a lot. I write a lot. I stone a lot. I slack a lot. I walk a lot. I type a lot. I eat a lot. I sleep a lot. I daydream a lot. 

I love cooking. I love eating. I love baking. I love typing. I love walking. 

I enjoy stoning. I enjoy laughing. 

I like smiling.

You?

Even at your worst, try a smile at least.

Hahaha

:D

Got our friends, got the night; we'll be alright

I feel like watching a real kickboxing match. The ones I saw last weekend was nice, so I'm wondering how it'd be like for REAL. Hahahaha. Andddd.. I wonder how it feels like to represent the country, as a girl. :p Hahahaha, when that day happens, I'll be the happiest one alive! It's kinda weird, but I've always wanted to get into a real fight. I bet it'd be nice and exciting! HAHAHA. I saw two of my seniors, I feel like being one of them, it'd be really nice to be a tough person; inside out. (:

Everyday when walking home, I'd see this really nice bike. Anyhow, I'm still in the process of convincing my dad to let me have a bike license. But I don't think it's ever gonna happen because, it never worked for my brother as well. -__________- I'm actually planning to secretly get one myself later *,*

Ducati 1098

:OOOOOOOOO

Yamaha R7

I feel so light headed seeing the pictures. Hahahaha, can you imagine riding on this for college and to work in my Nursing uniform? HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA But okay laa, back to reality, I may not afford one any time SOON, so, at the moment, I'm trying to get this:

This is the top most priority among others!

Second!

$415

 $456!

T____________T

The black and red one is so nice.

The first one is pretty hard to get, so I'm opting for the second one!

Expensive like bzzzz right?

But I know myself, when I save enough money, I'll DEFINITELY pamper myself

HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE

Let's now just hope the next time I post the jacket is with me wearing it!

*muka stim*

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I'm still gonna shine; and I'll tell you why

Time is running out and I'm still not picking up my phone. Exactly how many hours left, I don't know, but I know it's soon and I hope she doesn't mind. She knows me well enough that I hate phone calls. I know this should be made as an exception, but no, I'm still not picking up the phone! Hahaha.

My dearest sister Karen,

I really can't thank you enough for every single thing you've done for me. You know I love you right, even though I hardly show it. I do actually, all the time, it may just turn out to be a pissed off face to you. :p Hahaha, but seriously, I think you know. HAHAHA. When you were in your crazy PMS phase, you've uttered not few ugly accusations, hahaha, at THAT moment, really, I wanted to just walk out and promise myself to never get back in there with you and what made myself fulfill that promise, is that you always act as if nothing happened when you're calmed. -______________- AND guess what. The next visit, i always fail to say: "No. I don't want to stay with you." every single time you ask me to! HAHAHAfml.

You said you 'know' that I'm thinking you're the worst sister one could ever have, I wish that you'd die on your way home, I wish that you'd be a normal sister for once, studying hard, earning money, spending on me, be a holy role model but honestly, not even one of that came across my mind, even when we had the worst fight. You wanna know what I really think? You are the BEST sister one could ever ask for, you're the smartest, not ignorant at all, you earn enough, you spend on me more than you could earn (HAHAHA), and I'd love to see your stupid stare and your stupid voice calling me 'Kathy~' or 'Roxy~' (for now) the minute I open my eyes. I loooove it when Aunty Fay always scold us: "YOU TWO AH! Can TALK TALK TALK TALK whole day! Wake up, start TAAAAALKING till you sleep! Is there so much to talk about?!" HAHAHAHAHAHA. :D

You taught me a lot of stupid things as well. HAHAHA. But you know I enjoy them more than what 'normal' sisters do to their younger siblings. (:

One more thing that I'd always be grateful about is, you made a happy kid from a depressed one. :p

The last week we spent together may not be the most exciting one, but it was definitely one of the best ones. (:

I'm never worried, but I know you're always worried about me because you know me too well! :D I promise, I'll try my best to not let you down and not to be the ones we hate most. (:

I still hope that you do understand and not get disappointed if I still don't call you when you leave. I can't go to school with big puffy eyes tomorrow. :p

You're the best!

I'll see you in September.

Always remember:
Patrick and I love you this much!
:DD

Don't get what you need; get what you're waiting for

These two weeks have been like a roller coaster ride. Everything's just passing me by so quickly that I can't even hardly catch hold of anything. Opinions, perspectives and feelings change so quickly every second that I don't even know what is everything about. Hahaha. I'm thinking maybe this is one of those trying-to-define-yourself moments? But isn't it a little too late for my age? Hahaha. I'm feeling so tensed and afraid of every single thought I have in me, but I'm trying hard to be as optimistic as possible, which I hope it's a good thing, at least.

Sometimes I hope it's cancer or tumor, at least I have an explanation for the confusion! HAHAHA. Life seems so boring and 'happening' at times. Not really boring, just feels like I'm living a static routine everyday and incredibly, time seems to move faster this way. See what I'm trying to say? Every line I typed has been negative and suddenly positive and back to negative. It's jumping all around! Hahaha.

I hope the usual happy pig monkey Katrina comes back quickly and stays! HAHAHA

It could be wrong; but it should've been right

"Resistance"

Muse

Soooooo.

One tablespoon of sesame oil.

Two tablespoons of kicap.

Some sugar, salt and pepper.

Steam it for about 8minutes

or;

Microwave it for 2minutes?

Steam the fish for bout 12minutes.

Discard the water.

(I forgot this step HAHAHA)

Add the sauce.

Sprinkle the fried garlic on top.

TADAAA!

:D

I cheated myself; like I knew I would

"You Know I'm No Good"

It's an original version by Amy Winehouse but I love the one covered by Arctic Monkeys! :D I'm suddenly thinking of getting another guitar here and start my practice all over again.

This was the very first song I played by ear!

Now forgot everything.

HAHAHA

Packed your bags and walked away; there was nothing I could say

This is why I hate lies. Once you start lying, you've got to keep lying to cover up your own ass. Or worse, others' asses. What's wrong with people nowadays, not being able to handle the truth. Everyone enjoys being in the denial state. I even had one experience where this guy just couldn't accept the truth I'm telling, so he instead accuses that I'm lying and demands the 'real truth' -_______- Tell me, how REAL or FAKE can a true fact be? -_________________- You'd prefer me to tell lies that please you so that you can always stay in your comfort zone? Go get a new friend, I'm not going to do that for anyone.

We got one shot, so where do we go from here

After such a long time, I feel pretty much alive today. 

Hahaha :D

At first, I thought my classmate was pissed at me because I kept ignoring her hints for me to ask her how bad her weekend was, and I buat bodoh, muka selamba only. Really gila ah she mengamuk, hentak here and there and I'm like wtf is wrong with you. But I didn't want to find fault so I did more things to annoy her instead. I was thinking, if you plan not to talk to me, might as well, don't talk until the next day. Then after class, she told that she was actually pissed with another classmate and the reason was pretty much -____________- Nevermind laaa, small kid memang like that. HAHAHA but I learnt something, which is to remind myself to never act like her, because I know how much I hated it and I'd rather kill myself than to listen/watch childish dramas. WOOOOOO.

By the way, my Psychology lecturer told us what happened when his wife one day woke up with fluid dripping down her thighs. 

Wife: How come there's fluid dripping down my thighs?

Husband: I don't know.

And the first thing they did? Google for "Fluid dripping down thighs"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Wife: Oh, I think my fluid burst.

Husband: Then how?

Wife: Get me to the hospital la!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Now your turn to imagine if this was your husband.

I'll laugh this hard till my baby pops out itself. 

HAHAHA

Yuuuuuummy

I suddenly realised:

BQD can also represent Bak Qut Deh. 

HAHAHAHAHAwtf.

Tonight we drink to youth

I suddenly had the urge to do something big and meaningful, I don't know why. Hahaha. Even though I went through Physical Training for three days straight, it sort of got stuck in me to keep doing something. Hahaha. After dinner, I started mopping the floor and toilets. It feels a little weird to do nothing at this time. Hmm, I bet we'll be doing Jumping Jacks, stretching, punches, kicks and loads of laughter! Hahaha. Damn it, it's pretty weird that I'm missing this three-day camp so much! I loved camps since high school and this is actually one of the most 'luxurious' and 'relaxing' one. The apostrophes aren't for sarcasm purposes, it's like luxurious but not exactly the type of luxury you're expecting. Get it? Hahahaha, nevermind. :p

You know why I love it so much? Because. I feel like I'm in The Biggest Loser reality show! Hahaha! And these are just the warming up for tougher training in the future. I came back with sores everywhere and now I realise, it's even in my butt! I was wondering why and TADA! We did back-flips and back roll-over today! It was pretty awesome, but hard to achieve. :( I need to keep practising! Hahaha. But where lah? Later my uncle sees me and wonders what the hell am I doing from the bed rolling onto the floor. Hahaha. Ahh, even my neck is hurting. Okay stop whining. Hahaha.

I don't even know what I'm really feeling right now. I'm really smiling because I'm happy. But I don't know whether is this a cheesy 'love struck' smile or the 'ahh, got you' smile. But it's alright, as long as I'm smiling which will forever be better than my usual non-smiling pissed off face HAHAHA.

Even though my family is really one messed up family, but I love them very much!

:D

But you only want the ones that you can't get

TADAAA!

Officially a BQD Yellow Belt holder!

:D

My whole body is starting to sore today. I realised one thing today, every single time when it comes to farewells, I'd be the first to walk out as if I do not care at all. -____________- Since last time, after meeting my family, favourite relatives or friends, when it comes to goodbyes, I'd walk straight towards the 'exit', I just don't know why! Hahaha, I shouldn't be laughing, it's not good. -__________- Okay, fine, the point of me saying all these is because. I. Already. Am. Missing. The. Camp. HAHAHAfml. 

All the time, I'd tell my friends, "Forgive. It's easier for you to move on from there." But I recently realised, I'm a person filled with hatred. How ironic. When I hate a particular person, anything that has to do with him/her, I'd try my best to avoid them. Music, places, food, accessories, drinks, ANYTHING, that reminds me of them, I'd hate them as well. :/ I need to change this. And it's wtf that I just realised this recently. I've always thought I forgave, but then I realise I start hating a lot of things and I start to question myself: "Have I really forgiven these people?" But I guess, now that I've realised it, it's never too late to try to change. But you know, sometimes I do think back, why am I still so furious. The one and only reason that I could give myself was, I really can't believe that he/she would do that to me. Seriously. Until today, at this very point of time, whenever I think back of what he/she had done to me, I'd go: WTF. F YOU KATRINA. YOU'RE SUCH A F-ING DUMBASS! WHY DIDN'T YOU F-ING SEE IT COMING?! See what I mean? Just trying to type out how I feel, already bugs me. I really never cursed this much in real life. Sometimes I'm just too caught up with the anger I have, that I 'believe' these words will stab them, every single time I say them out. So can you imagine, how much anger and hatred I have to the extend where I want to see these people get hurt physically? Shit shit shit. I really need to stop thinking like this. I'm hurting myself instead of them, andddd, what's the point. -__________- This will be the biggest challenge from today on: Forgive all the bitches and douchebags and FORGET IT! Promise, that's the last. -___________-

I came across a post and it says: A true friend is one who will listen to your miserably annoying pointless rantings over and over again without getting bored and annoyed at you. Sigh, I'm sorry to most of those out there, I can never be a true friend. HAHAHA. Recently, there's someone who's already getting on my nerves. I mean, why the hell are you creating stories that are not even true just to create curiosity among everyone? I just wanna grab these people and make sure they get muscle spasms for the rest of their lives! -__________- I understand humans will seek for attention somehow, I admit sometimes I do too, but not to this extend! -.-

Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezuz. And I don't know why I'm so grumpy and moody today. *Gives self muscle spasm!* IT'S GONNA BE AWESOME TODAY!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Mountains & Plateaus

Just got back from Kickboxing Camp and it was overall good, people were nice, training was great and I think I'm pretty sleepy that's why I've got no mood to type anything. need to sleep before I become depressed. HAHAHAbye.