Say you'd run to my side

She sounds so different in this song.

Whole day I kept listening to Tracy Chapman's Goodbye, Macy Gray's I Try, Boyce Avenue's cover version of Usher's Without You and Dido's Life For Rent. 

Sometimes it's not that I don't try; at times I just feel that there's no point trying. At times I wish I were normal; be stupid like how normal girls are. Giving priorities and risks to things that aren't important after all. Sometimes I struggle so hard over something that I soon forget what. I'm really sick of judgmental people. Are they really there as a friend or they're willingly listening to you to make a joke out of you? I'm sorry but I can't help feeling this way. I FUCKING HATE TO SOUND WHINY AND ANNOYING. That's why I hardly tell people my problems. I just don't fucking trust anyone hahaha. My truth can be a nice lie at times. I'm not trying to be different when I say this, but then some of my thoughts about certain things are really different from my friends. Sometimes I'd try to be bold and just say what's really on my mind on how I see things, they'd make fun of it and laugh it off. So okay ah, I just laugh along. Of course I know they don't mean to bring me down but you don't have a clue how disappointing it is at times. I love my friends, I really do. They treat me like a princess and a queen most of the time but it's like how they say about parents, love is not about pouring gifts and wealth. Ahh fuck it.

I feeeeeeeeel like running away again. But it's not that bad this time because I'm enjoying my current attachment alot and I've been keeping myself busy during that whole 8-hour shift to shut my mind off things. But I'm pretty looking forward to the long holidays as well. Can't make it to Perth this break; spent most of my money on medical fees. URGHH. 

Can I just smoke weed for the rest of my life and just stay high? -.-